I see you struggle and I see you not give up.  Standing there muddied and bruised, but there you are, still standing.  Steadfast and weary, sometimes feeling you stand alone, questioning if it all matters, wondering if you are doing it right.  Is it really supposed to be this hard?   You are positioned here, set apart, because you feel it is where God has brought you, where all of the things He provided the strength to endure, gave you the place to stand.  And yet this isn’t a haven, or a mountaintop, it’s a battlefield.

You don’t always stand on the side of popular opinion, you don’t take things at face value.  Kindness is a given for you, but trust, it’s earned.  You expect more, not only from yourself, but from the whole human race.  For your children, for all children.  From your beginning you have always felt you were a voice, you were the one to speak up, you were the one to question, the one to say no for yourself and for others.  It has always been part of your makeup, and now is no exception.  It seems as though now is what every other encounter was preparing you for.

You are not a martyr, not a do-gooder, not perfect, no expert.  You don’t let labels stick.  You don’t hide behind Christianity.  You don’t use scripture as a weapon.  You aren’t here for a following.   And you realize you are no longer separate from your faith.  The reason you talk about it so intrinsically, is because it is who you are.  Everything you have endured has been woven within you.  Something new created.

You have lived through things you may never share, and yet still you stand in love, in courage, with humility.  A warrior.

You are a mom, on a mission, He called you to.  You heard the whisper, quiet and strong.  It’s time to go.  To go out and do this thing, the hard thing, the resisted thing, the thing you are asking Him to not give to you.  It may cast a spotlight on you, your children, your parenting, your mothering.

You don’t like the spotlight, not because of what it reveals about you, but because you don’t like it to be about you.  You do your best work behind the scenes.  The flashy work has never been yours.  Either has being lifted up with flattering praise.  You have always shrugged those things off because you focus your eyes squarely on why you are here.  The fight matters to you.

Life is easier outside the arena and still you remain within, you stay in the battle.  There are those who speak so much around the arena, about the area, but never find themselves in the arena.  Only words exist outside of the arena, but inside it is action. Hard-won and sacred.

It may be because you stand with a strong faith or because you don’t waiver, it may be because they see the fighter within you.  They notice the scars. The truth is you don’t stand here for yourself at all.  You are rooted here in your belief there is something better for all.

Everything would be different if that understanding was universal.  Our fight is not for ourselves, but for all of us.

You are the mom who doesn’t buy into popularity, or another’s stamp of approval.  You don’t have time to talk about the village because you are too fully immersed being the village, unseen, digging in, hard effort, village.  The mom who gets that the village starts with her.  As Max Lucado has said, “they won’t believe you across the world if they don’t believe you across the hall.”

The mom who knows the little ones aren’t listening to what she says as much as they are watching what she does.  And so they see you stand in the arena, for them all.

 

photo credit: Annie Spratt on Unsplash